In a warm well lit room
pretend to be homeless
and write

“…a way a lone a last a loved a long
the / riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s,
from swerve of shore to…”1

…standing in pretend dark alley
conveyor of precedent crouching glint
of light in eyes on knees unmeant
in shadow on knees in eyes unleant
Someone, something , some un-yet
Distorted
Eyes
Someone  thing  is here

More animal than human
More human than Darwin
Sit in the shadow cast

A shadow dark enough
to be home

Step click, clack, sidewalk glisten
4 minute old rain lamp light listen, for
hours, in darkness sits, it, it, it!
stare at bricks laid in building wall opposite
laid some seventy four years earlier by John Donne & Son Limited
Vulgar smell, incontinence urine stench clothing
turns into white noise
imperceptible
for its nose
but not for other noses

imperceptible of outward look
to others
and of outward smell
to others,
It is Hunger

Starving

All hunger knows is
    less than “I am”   

So what moves?
as out of the darkness hunger rises
walks on to the sidewalk
What moves?
Not “I am”, not human
It is hunger
Hunger moves
Hunger walks
Hunger is ignored by pedestrians
as locked bicycles ignore silence of cats

Ignoring hunger is wise as
hunger knows not what hunger will do
Homeless hunger
What does hunger see when hunger looks
at people who ignore hunger?
Screech of a car, hunger jumps!
Hunger jumps!
In panic the tongue is bit by hunger
The pain hunger causes some “I am”
to stir
to look out
to quickly fade

Only hunger is here
What conscious does hunger have?
Hunger does not use thought
Hunger does not use feeling

Hunger uses hunger to make sound that
sometimes sounds like words
moves arms fingers  legs

Hunger uses hunger to do things
Hunger uses hunger to do things

“a way a lone a last a loved a long
the / riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve
of shore to bend of bay, brings us by
a commodius vicus of recirculation back to
Howth Castle and Environs.”2
Where

I Pretend My Father has Cancer

Cancer patients stop being human sometimes
My father stops being human

and as hunger uses hunger to do things
my father’s sickness uses sickness to talk
to shout, to scream
to which out of respect I look
at him, silent, quiet, waiting, and waiting
for sickness to stop using sickness, to be
And it subsides, it can when someone looks at it long enough
or maybe it’s exhaustion, or both
Dad returns to his body, but in
the corner of his eyes in the hospital room
a glint in his eyes of
sickness looks out
like homeless
hunger looks out

I look

at him

“a way a lone a last a loved a long
the / riverrun, .”3

as glaciers melt with awareness in Arctic
I wonder never gingerly if I use thinking to think?

Or, does a

something use something to do things       I am not aware of?

To not know what this is,  aware that it is

 

 

 

Notes

Quotes 1 & 2 & 3 are from beginning of Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce

Picture  by Vintage Light C.C. 3.0

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